Friday, August 12, 2011
Why hasn't my anxiety gone away?
About two months ago I smoked marijuana for the third time ever. I enjoyed it the first two times blah blah blah, but not so much the third time. I was sort of tripping and the high started to feel like a dream. I got scared and had a really bad panic attack that night. I took me a week after that to get over how scared I felt that night. But I reached a point where I was completely over it. I thought it was irrational to worry about something that wasn't a "real" feeling anyway, so I moved on. Then a week after that I woke up feeling derealization again or maybe it was in my head, but it doesn't matter because it scared the s**t out of me. When the feeling went away a couple hours later It scared me that I felt that way while I wasn't high. It took me another week and three days to get over it. Then one night I was reading about derealization and out of the blue I had a panic attack. For a while I had a constant fear of having panic attacks. I saw a therapist at my school, told most of my family and read more than you can imagine on the internet. Now I'm at a place where I can control my fear. But the physical anxiety symptoms that usually precede a panic attack won't go away. It bothers me because they occur even when I'm not scared. I think I have developed a moderate anxiety disorder but nothing critical yet. Should I see a doctor? I really don't want to take prescription drugs to make these feelings go away. I regret smoking marijuana that night more than anything, If i knew I'd be a nervous wreck all the time I would have never f***ing done it. It wasn't even fun while the high was "good". I despise the fact that I blindly made a decision that could potentially effect me for the rest of my life... When I feel anxious it's like nothing else matters. I could have a thousands good things in front of me and not see any of them because it feels terrible while it's happening. What should I do?
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